What's the most sinister looking car ever?

"sm70- why not Duesenberg?" (sm70-whynotduesenberg) 02/07/2015 at 16:57 • Filed to: None

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The new Dodge Charger looks menacing in black. I vaguely remember reading a review in Car and Driver or one of those magazines years ago, when the first Charger began its police duties. The author said that the Charger needn't have had a massive Hemi V8, because would-be perps would be frightened into pulling over even before the Christmas tree was switched on behind them. If that's true, then the new one ought to have them all dropping dead from heart attacks. It really is a frightening looking machine.

However, the cars that look like they, or their occupants, want to kill you aren't just a by-product of modern "aggressive" design language. If you look at many large luxury cars of the 1930's, they look as malevolent as anything today, if not more so. Take this Duesenberg, for example. The jet black paintwork covers the massive car like a cloak, and the huge fenders give the car a look as though it is slinking around like a black leopard. The low greenhouse, four suicide doors, and sheer size add to the effect. The scare-factor extends to the view you'd see in your mirror. The face features three headlights like dinner plates, the substantial bumper, and the giant square grill which towers off the ground and is topped by what looks like an arrow ready to impale any poor soul who dares to cross the path of this car, or its owner.

What about you? It can be anything from the Peterbilt tanker in Duel to your mean ex-boss's Jaguar sedan. What car gives you nightmares at the very sight of it? Black paint optional, but very helpful.

Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 02/07/2015 at 17:02

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These two comes to mind..

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 02/07/2015 at 17:02

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djmt1 > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 02/07/2015 at 17:05

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Thunderface > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 02/07/2015 at 17:06

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Blacked-out CVPIs

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh 02/07/2015 at 17:07

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That top one is the scariest a Volvo has ever looked.

Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 02/07/2015 at 17:07

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1959 Dodge Coronet... I think we have a winner.

Birddog > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 02/07/2015 at 17:08

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That Duesey has a Johnny "Da Trigger" is coming for you look to it.

The Buick Invicta has a rather sinister look to it.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 02/07/2015 at 17:08

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I love both of those cars in their own ways. The Charger is an obvious contender, but the Coronet is probably just as badass.

TheHondaBro > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 02/07/2015 at 17:08

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NSXs have been good at that.

Brian Silvestro > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 02/07/2015 at 17:08

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SO EASY

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > djmt1 02/07/2015 at 17:09

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My God I love those Jaguars. My uncle has a mid-90's XJR in black, and I swear it was the coolest car I'd ever seen when 8 year old me first laid eyes on it.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Birddog 02/07/2015 at 17:10

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It's not easy to make a bright red car look scary. This does.

GhostZ > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 02/07/2015 at 17:10

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The 1970 Imperial would like a word with you.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > TheHondaBro 02/07/2015 at 17:10

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New one I'll agree with. But the blue one looks excited.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Brian Silvestro 02/07/2015 at 17:11

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Concealed (but not pop-up) headlights do help. Also, the Montreal may be my favorite post-war Alfa.

Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 02/07/2015 at 17:12

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Yup.. but we'll always have Vöx and his insane stuff going on though..

Brian Silvestro > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 02/07/2015 at 17:14

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Almost mine, but this one takes the throne:

deekster_caddy > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 02/07/2015 at 17:21

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If it's not Christine, we should all rethink the definition of sinister!!!

Steve in Manhattan > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 02/07/2015 at 17:21

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Georado > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 02/07/2015 at 17:22

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Am I doing this right?

AJ Feldman (alecmets2011) > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 02/07/2015 at 17:23

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This gives me nightmares...

That smile...

No....never again...no.....

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Georado 02/07/2015 at 17:24

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I said most sinister car, not disney villain, but yes I know what you mean. I figured that would be the only nonexistent car to be nominated.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 02/07/2015 at 17:24

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The new Fusion has a pretty sinister look to it from the front. Some LED light tube outlines around the bottom of the headlights would make it look even more pissed off though.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Logansteno: Bought a VW? 02/07/2015 at 17:25

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Better yet, on the top, like angry eyebrows.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 02/07/2015 at 17:26

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That would make the think of the Sebring-refresh 200. And no one wants that to come to mind when looking at something.

Georado > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 02/07/2015 at 17:26

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I couldn't find a good picture of her and the car, but it was certainly the first thing that came to mind.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Georado 02/07/2015 at 17:30

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Nobi > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 02/07/2015 at 17:40

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I see your Charger, and raise you a Charger with red halos installed. Hide the children.

Nobi > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 02/07/2015 at 17:44

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I see your Charger and raise you a Charger with red halos.

Sn210 > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 02/07/2015 at 18:20

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Milky > Nobi 02/07/2015 at 18:24

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The douchebag is strong with this one.

spanfucker retire bitch > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 02/07/2015 at 18:28

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It genuinely looks like it could eat you.

CallMeTURBO > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 02/07/2015 at 18:32

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Lister Jaguar XJS, widebody Le Mans spec and a 6.0L v12 bored out to 7.0L and double supercharged. Made 612 hp back back in 1992, I would be pretty scared if one of these showed up in anger behind me. Not to mention the sound...

CallMeTURBO > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 02/07/2015 at 18:45

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https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kEYKt0… couldn't hear the vid on my phone so I had to switch to the laptop.

But this is a follow up to the lister jag I posted earlier

Obscure Drives > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 02/07/2015 at 18:48

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Lincoln Mark V: 9/10 times they have a body in the trunk. Some say it came that way from the factory.

CallMeTURBO > CallMeTURBO 02/07/2015 at 18:53

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and here's a nice vid for anyone who wants the sound https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kEYKt0…

 > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 02/07/2015 at 19:00

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spanfucker retire bitch > Logansteno: Bought a VW? 02/07/2015 at 19:05

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Some LED light tube outlines around the bottom of the headlights would make it look even more pissed off though.

Here you go.

http://www.thelightingfirm.net/product/13-15-…

RoccoStiglitz > djmt1 02/07/2015 at 19:07

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There is a guy around where I live that has a murdered out xj coupe with plates that say 'BLKWIDO'. It's pretty cool.

CTSenVy > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 02/07/2015 at 19:34

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I maybe doing this wrong, but this definitely freaked out more than one driver.

El Rivinado > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 02/07/2015 at 19:57

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The 65 Riviera, because no one ever suspects a Buick.

titsinmymitts > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 02/07/2015 at 21:00

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SHARPSPEED > spanfucker retire bitch 02/07/2015 at 21:51

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What is that and how many pieces of my soul will I have to part with to get it?

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 02/07/2015 at 21:51

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if looking sinister is the goal, you can't go wrong with a little patina

ly2v8-Brian > CTSenVy 02/07/2015 at 21:56

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You don't earn the nickname 'the intimidator' for nothing. That's for sure.

Jeff-God-of-Biscuits > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 02/07/2015 at 21:59

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It only kind of works in context with the character, but Rutger Hauer in the the black stepside in the movie "The Hitcher" freaked me the fuck out for years. The part were he comes flying up onto the road from behind a dune, it was like he was belched straight outta hell.

ly2v8-Brian > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 02/07/2015 at 22:12

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Personally to make a car truly sinister it helps to have a certain Provenance .

Joseph Stalin's Packard

Himmler's Horch

Lastly, The Mercedes G4. This was a type of large staff car that Hitler would often use in parades. I've seen this car in person (the museum with the three cars listed is in Roscoe,IL) it is massive.

Birddog > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 02/07/2015 at 22:42

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Yeah, driving a Buick used to mean something.

And people think Lincoln is lost..

Shoop > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 02/07/2015 at 23:29

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Am I Late?

See, people are mistaking "sinister" with "pissed off." A sinister car should give off the aura, not that it wants to fuck you up, but that it would make the cars day for you to give it the opportunity.

And nothing says "Niccccce to sssssee you" like a Ferrrari FF

Ohshitohshitohshitmybossishere

The type of sinister that learns about world events before they happen from men in suits whispering into their ears.

Also The Duccati VW thing was pretty mean too

spanfucker retire bitch > SHARPSPEED 02/08/2015 at 07:54

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Blastolene B-702.

And it'll devour the entirety of your soul.

Nobi > Milky 02/08/2015 at 16:16

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Only if its got wheels that are chrome and bigger than 20"

Jdrentarol > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 02/09/2015 at 21:10

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Nissan GT-R LM Nismo - At night

tuner-tom > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 02/19/2015 at 10:32

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I say this Charger is pretty bad ass!

TitusVorenus > GhostZ 08/23/2015 at 10:44

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Yes, the Chrysler-Dodge and Plymouths sporting this body style were all quite menacing looking, especially the 1970 Plymouth Fury. I love those mean looking land barges.

Ricardo Landgrave > CallMeTURBO 09/14/2016 at 01:21

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The original Hellcat